Chapter 14: Ha! Idiot.

So I’ve come to Rome… without a camera. Yes, that’s right, no camera. Here in this hand we have my new fantastically brilliant camera with its fantastically brilliant photo taking abilities. In the other we have every tourist’s dream city with enough photo ops to take out a charging rhino. Shall we bring the two together? Eh, nah, not this time. I’ll just let my camera chill on my bed back in San Guistino for a bit while I take the sightseeing trip of my life. Yeah, smooth.

In reality the loss is actually for all you readers, not me, so I’m sorry. I’m actually quite lucky. I was THIS* close to forgetting my coat, and it is COLD here. Then in the last split second as I was scrambling into the car I remembered the coat—but not the camera.

Now, yet again, I know what you’re thinking (sheesh, I must be psychic, I know all your thoughts so well). You probably think you’re thinking “Well that’s nice that at least she’ll be warm even if she doesn’t have the camera.” Yes, well, there’s a tiny little part of you that’s thinking “Man, I wish she’d forgotten the coat and remembered the camera. Then the story would be twice as exciting and I’d have the pictures to prove it.”

Well to that disappointed half of you, I have some things to point out which may help. First of all if I had in fact forgotten the coat and remembered the camera, I’d probably be shivering so much that all my pictures would come out so blurry you wouldn’t be able to see them anyway.

Secondly, this is ROME we’re talking about. Every picture I could possibly take has already been taken at least a thousand times before me by at least a thousand other slightly brighter minded tourists. I promise that if you type “Coliseum” into a Google picture search engine then the picture I never took will pop up right there. Here try this one out: http://www.applelanguages.com/en/gallery/italy/rome/coliseum.jpg. Amazing isn’t it? It’s like magic.

* A technical figure meaning really incredibly tiny.