Chapter 2: Oh, Did You Need That?

I deplaned (man, that is a hilarious word) in Munich, plotted a course through the airport (a very complex navigational process that mostly involves following every single other person on the plane), made it through passport security without trouble, and promptly arrived at the baggage claim. The thing rumbled to a start, and there, the very first item off was… now I know you’re thinking that maybe I had stroke of wonderful luck and got my bag first, but that’s not the case. The very first item was in fact a six-foot tall plastic Easter Island head. No, I’m not kidding. Luckily seeing something like that put me in a good mood, because I waited until the claim had stopped moving and my green shiny neon pink enhanced bag still did not show, and if I had not had a six-foot tall plastic Easter Island head to cheer me up, I might have felt a little more morose about it right off the start.

The one thing that did poke me in an unfriendly way was the fact that this exact same thing had happened last time I went to Europe as well. A German speaking airport, no bag. So I went to the luggage desk, gave them the information (green and shiny with neon pink that would make your eyes incinerate) and went out to meet my great uncle Claus. I did not think too much about the bag other than that it was a slight nuisance, because last time I went to Europe without a bag, the airline had it at my door by the following afternoon. Ah. Welcome to the lovely world of heinous misjudgment. Please enjoy your stay.

Nevertheless I got to Claus’ house all fine and good and was given a room to stay in that would make Saibi leap into a wall in glee. Well not really, but it did have slanted ceilings. Like the little attic room at the top, except much larger and with its own bathroom.

Jetlag let me sleep pretty late the following morning, but my bag was still not there when I woke up. I was not surprised, but hoped it would show up that afternoon. Fortunately I had a whole wardrobe of clothes to borrow from Claus’ daughter, who is very tall and thin. Unfortunately I am not. Still, I made it work, and it was really nice of them that they were able to clothe me.

Things I saw in Munich:

1. A delicatessen that would have made my father go weak at the knees. The chocolates, the cheeses, the breads, the wines, the sauces, the hors d’ouvres (however you spell them, I know there’s an apostrophe in there somewhere), the pastries, the coffees…. Well it was pretty fantastic.
2. The winter palace (briefly and from the outside). There is a little tower on the roof of the palace that has an interesting story to go with it, which is the main reason I mention the seeing of this palace. Here is the story: Once upon a time, there was a prince. Who was a baby. And the royal chimpanzee kidnapped the prince and took him up onto the roof of the tower. And the entire royal court brought out all the feather beds into the courtyard to catch the prince if the chimpanzee dropped him. The end. Well I guess the real end is that the chimpanzee brought the kid down. Not a very climactic ending, I apologize, but hey, I didn’t make it up. I just like the image of the entire court panicking and dragging out their beds while the chimpanzee is up on the roof waving around the future king of Germany.
3. Some pretty neat churches. This is Europe after all.
4. The monument Hitler put up in front of the beer hall. It’s history, I won’t repeat it, look it up.
5. The Siemens building, which is entirely in white and gray, and the architect said no pictures were allowed because they’re not white or gray, but I saw some. Very sneaky Siemens employees putting up contraband art on their walls.
6. A guy who almost had a heart attack when he noticed me. I was sitting in a parked car. The guy was innocently walking across the street and happened to pick the passageway between my car and the next. He was about to enter the space between them when he saw me sitting there, jumped at least a foot in the air, and then picked a different passageway about four cars down. I found this amusing.
7. A shop that sells exclusively horse meat. I have not seen such a thing before, thus it is worth mentioning.
8. The famous beer hall. We walked to the end and back, just to see what it’s like. Very loud….
9. An arch built exactly like the arch in the piazza outside the Uffizi in Florence. How creative. Copycats.

And some other little things here and there I’m sure. We finally made it back home where there was not a bag waiting for me. There was, however, news of record wind storms due to hit Munich tomorrow afternoon. The people were advised not to leave their homes. Since wind often translates into trees on the train tracks, my departure the day after tomorrow is now a little iffy.